Thing about Mom

How could any budding writer's writing be anything without a mention of mom?

So what do you write about a mom who is distinctly not in Dostoevsky's style? By the ink-blot test yardstick, my childhood was pretty copy-book, now that I think about it. I used to think I am the cursed one when my doc-Mom would nt lay down 13 hours in a row to complete my science project. "My" science project, and no siree, she would nt do it. She had things to do then, exploring illnesses and pouring over black, plastic sheets that I could never play with. (X rays, yeah). She would never scream at me to study because.....what do you think? ....she trusted me? I dont really know, I just know I would kick up such a fuss that she would nt bring it on. She always wondered how the heck I remembered names of obscure, nothing, pathetic films with excitement.

So here is to mom. The one who studied medicine only to give it up when I was 2 feet tall, the email-fearing, dal-loving, absolutely hands-down adorable mother.

What makes my mom tick all these years? I guess the thing about moms is that every new mom gives the words "unconditional love" a whole new twist. My mom is all that and incredibly funny. I told a friend of mine some years back -" Hey wash your cauliflower in turmeric water because then the worms run out.". He asked me back "whoever told you this bizarre thing?". I go - "My mom!". He is all a-laughing saying "Just the thought of those worms coming out, rubbing their eyes...its making me laugh." Thats one to my mother. Mother moment created.

In her 50s, she finally got the time to do all the things she wanted. I cant believe one of them was Sudoku. She quietly waged battles for ownership of the morning papers only for that darned puzzle. And she was spotted doing Sudoku early mornings also. When some unsuspecting person threw a puzzle at her, she has been known to say, "sorry thats in the intermediate category, so no fun for me."

Her idiosyncracies deserve their own hall of fame. I remember some of the everyday ones

1. Wash meat 20 times before you cook it
2. There are mosquitoes here, believe me!
3. The onions need to be golden brown, but you dont seem to have the patience
4. Cover everything. Also in the refrigerator.
5. Wash underwear everyday. Otherwise all this education is a waste.
6. Wash your face with lukewarm water so that the sebum is cleared away (?) and the moisture remains. Dont rub that towel so hard.
7. So where is "My Documents" on this computer? Same place?
8. This meat is undercooked.
9. You slept late last night. A deep killing silence follows. Otherwise this is not complete here.

10. No, its not fever. You are fine, really.

Some of my favourite conversation high points

1. I am eating, stop looking at my food
2. Yes, I will sleep in the next one hour
3. No, I have had dinner
4. No, I did nt read that Mama. Tell me. (Thank God for this, my window to some good centre-left political thinking)
5. Oh God, you are so funny
6. I am sorry I forgot
7. But how could you forget to tell me that?????
8. You know I dont like sitting out with those random guests!!!! Do I have a view now that I am 14? Actually that 14 is a variable x. It starts applying from roughly about 6-7 years of one's age.

She loves her dogs. And I got that from her. Some serious names were thought of here. So poq quiz - who is Gangu bai? who is Chuttan mia?. Yes, my dog was called all these and,bless her soul, responded to these. So I learnt from mom and called my dog "Point Blank" for a few weeks. I really dont know where I got that from. Right, people shoot point blank in gangsta movies but how many shooters say "hey loser, watch while I shoot you point blank".???????

Its endless about mommy. She has three binoculars to do her bird-watching. And she can sit still for hours, drinking in bird calls in the afternoon. And tell that to you in such a way that you want to know more. She once made such a great case for how plants respond to conversation, that though I am not a plants-person, I started saying hi to some of them.

I have not even gone into the part where I think how someone can be such a miraculous package. I have not seen my mom do anything, anything, that did not multiply my admiration for her a million times. She has screamed (take a very mild view of screaming here) at me twice in my whole life. One time was this beauty -"if you dont eat, you will never be able to build resistance. Resistance, you heard me, resistance." I was in class II I think. Just the word resistance is enough trigger for howlarious laughing for me. Few words can evoke such memories. Second time, I was on the train jumping from upper berth to upper berth, doing my regular 10 year old thing when my mom said " If you dont stop that, I will mess your life.". This was legendary. My mind has not stopped laughing at this one.

She gets upset when she has not got the right "dal" concoction for dinner. As she once confided in me - " the dal is the king of dinner, that cant go bad." For someone who slogs three hours minimum in the kitchen because she cant trust them bad cooks, she has her legitimate views on dal.

Sometimes, you just cant be thankful enough for what you have. Right on top of my list is my mother. So a part two must follow.


Syed said...

Great piece ! very funny

Raaga said...

Came to this post only today... now I truly see what you meant by "moms and dal" :)

paramita said...

Good one! And I agree with her on the covering food gyan..